Ep. 1- "Serenity"
BRB, lemme get my DVDs.
okay, are you watching it on hulu?
I might only be able to watch the first hour, is that okay?
you mean of serenity?
UGH HANG ON
REady whenever you are.
sorry, my internet is being fucky
There is battling happening.
mal i missed you so much
And I have never before now realized how obviously they are in a studio.
Oh look, he leaped on the ground.
zoe looks amazing all battly
Yes, I know.
Remember when he like, dies in slomo?
ahahah mal the christiannnn
We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty!
BENDIS YOU FUCKER
Zoe is shooting shit.
i love zoe so much
She is such a fucking badass.
It makes me feel like less of a feminist, watching her.
lol their budget was so low
I'm half kidding.
But like, she is so badass, that I'm like, dang, I need to learn how to shoot shit with a giant gun.
OH SHIT GIANT SHIP.
i'm a little ahead of you
I think so.
I had to wait for my DVD to load.
we are so very pretty. we are just too pretty for good to let us die.
Hehehe, you're only ahead of me by like a second.
They're not coming!
my heart just breaks for him here omg
look at his faaaaace
He worked so hard!
And then Bendis gets shot in slomo.
Jayne in a spacesuit.
i missed everyone so much shae
Gimme the sticky!
I really wanna know how that shit works.
(ooomg i can't wait for dollhouse)
(me toooo shae we are going to diiiiie)
Wait I'm not there yet!!!
Wait, did you pause?
Ijust paused on Kaylee saying she couldn't get down.
What did we pause it for?
their uniforms suck
It's what's his name!
Skip and Clem and like everyone ever!
Creepy hand doctor.
And also captain of this ship.
nathan's nose is so big
his nostrils are like saffron's boobs
He should have played Boromir and Faramir's retarded brother.
Oh look, it's the crybaby.
Crew, you ah so smart.
they are all such huge losers
They're like, lookit that trick we pulled!
Hang on travelers!
I know, right.
TAKE MY LOVE
TAKE MY LAND
SHAE I AM GOING TO CRY
TAKE ME WHERE I CANNOT STAND
I KNOW ME TOO
i am good
my comp froze a little
What part of the credits are you on?
Okay, Ijust paused
end of credits.
now i am there
we have to sync up again.
kaylee ￼ ￼
I know, rite.
I like to meet new people!
i love my captain!
wash and zoe have so much sex
Like, 4 times a day.
I think it's Zoe, honestly.
Wash is like goddamn, again, woman?
And Zoe's like CAPTAIN'S ORDERS.
inara i am so excited dfgfdhfg
WE HAVE TO STAY RELAXED.
I'm paused right on that sez.
Okay, what's up?
Are you still paused?
ugh sorry britt showed up
where are you?
I'm right in the middle of Inara's sex.
ok i am at sex
shinon isn't that different from this planet
are you there?
Remember how much we talked about Sihnon?
inara stop looking like me
YOU ARE HER CHILD.
That boy is ass ugly.
i know inara what are you doing girl
i love it when she flies the shuttle
I know, right
wash and inara bff
yeah me too
lol a black kid
PS, did I tell you that Kayla desperately wants to come to part of comic con with us?
oh yeah, she's welcome to
She's such a closet geeks.
She's an actress who interns at W magazie.
Except then we bonded because we both know who Mara Jade is?
I LOVE HERRRR
What do you think Wash says to Zoe?
I was hoping that no one knew and that secretly it was something inappropriate.
So Kayla wants to dress up as Sailor Moon.
Or one of the others.
i mean that's what i think
I want him to have said, like, hey, maybe later we can try out that new strap-on.
Who do you think would wear it?
Wash likes his anal sex secretly.
First gorram of the show!
i don't get people who ship jayne/anyone
Except like Jayne/Badger.
THAT would be hilarious.
poor mal. he has ptsd so bad.
He's having flashbacks. Right now.
In fact Nathan is Strasberging it.
Of like, when his cat died in real life.
His cat was named Bendis.
when joss didn't call him one day
she is really one of the best female characters ever.
And,.... strawberry erotica.
jayne you're such a tard
blue sun poster!
yeah she did a bit hahahaha
plz b careful w/ my sister k
WHAT IS DOING OH SIMON
I CANNOT DEAL.
HAHAHA HE LOOKS LIKE A MORMON MISSIONARY
LIKE THE ONES THAT COME TO YOUR HOUSE.
zoe should be captain she is smarter
She's like HW
She gets shafted a lot.
shoot em. politely.
Hahaha, just wait until Mal starts peeing in jars.
You know it happens.
inara is like khep
come in with the milk zoe
the kitchen ￼
my sister iz i nthe cargo bay
simon you are never not going to be hilarious
I think I may like, own her shawl.
SHUT UP MAL
YOUR SOCIAL GRACES ARE LACKING, MAL.
Myself... and Kaylee.
In my hot tub.
You know she has one.
BETWEEN YO' LEGS.
it's like a traditional japanese bathtub
This is my face every time I eat a strawberry.
Hahaha, I love Book SO MUCH.
mal is such a jerk
He has rosemary!!
Kaylee looks so awkward when she's gracing.
jayne just wants to be book's friend
She's like, um, should I be doing this?
he's like, hey, gym buddy!
inara needs to eat with them ￼
I know man.
mal, pot kettle black
lubed up hahahahahasdf
Did you know that literally for MONTHS I thought he said "Little Kaylee just wishes SHE was a gynecologist?"
mommy mal is angry
I was like, is Joss outing her?
And then I read the subtitles.
i paused at her face as she's bathing
Okay, hold on.
I;m there, GO.
I want that bracelet.
i'm a little behind you
Okay hold on.
I paused RIGHT after he says "If you'd prefer a lecture."
ok i'm there
should i go?
Oh wait, I played.
Now I'm paused again. :
Inara jus said thank you.
inara is making me miss my long hair
Kaylee is making me miss mine.
MAL IS PEEING.
such a mystery truly
i think i see a pic of his parents
Ahaha, I just noticed the fucking altar by his bed.
Do youthink Inara set it up?
it froze hang on
Okay, I have mine paused right after he punched Simon.
i need to refresh
i need to get my dvds for tomorrow
I can wait.
i want to write inara and iroh bffing
they would get along so well
Hahah, they would.
They could be in steam baths together.
Okay, I have it paused right after Simon said tell who?
ok i am there
got no time for games what do they know
everyone is smarter than mal
This is not my best day ever.
he comes back in those left behind
i thought he died?
no mal just shot his eye out?
I never noticed that until now!!!
simon is such a pansy
hence, he is SO GAY.
i love him dearly, but really.
I love how Inara is such a lez in these moments.
inara is most upset!
I love how she gives K her robe.
Are you askin' me to dance?
I love that she says "It's okay baby."
it's okay mei mei
oh she said baby?
Are you sure it's mei mei?
I think it's baby.
no you're right
'Cause she said mei mei earlier.
This scene kills me.
Literally every time.
everyone loves her so much
HAHA SIMON'S FACE.
Seriously, look at his fucking face.
he looks like fucking sylar from heroes
I love how Jayne is watching from outside like alittle boy.
kaylee iz hiz fren
why do people ship simon/jayne
I don't know.
RIVER KIRRYN RIVER
IN A BOX.
I love how that was your reaction, and that was mine.
And that was Mal's.
Oh, man, Summer, you were just SO naked in this scene.
Like, there is no way to get around her nakedness.
she is pretty damn naked but this makes me cry
Look how she was shaking!!
I love this part.
This whole monologue.
I AM BERY SMART.
hahah, Meredith wishes she could finish her internship in that time
I think that might be one of my favorite of Summer's choices.
river breaks my heart so much shae
i can't even
Oh river oh I love riverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
i still haven't seen the r.tam sessions
i am really afraid they would just break me entirely
They like, scared the shit out of me.
She is so creepy and amazing.
mal why are you such a dick
and i love you anyway
I kno rite
wash's eyelashes are blonde
i find that so hot
His body is blonde.
WE DON'T VOTE ON MY SHIP
You hate democracy.
mal is john mccain
IT IS NOT THE RUTTING TOWN HALL.
Saffron is Sarah Palin.
BOOK IS OBAMA
That was me needing to laugh so hard that I hit the wrong letter.
I want to hear Book talk about change.
simon gets hit a lot.
much like giles falls down a lot.
We should rewatch Buffy and Angel after this.
hahahah oh man
Except only the good eps.
like, we can't watch fucking Bad Eggs.
pain is scary
I feel like River has rubies up her vag.
The way this dude is talking about her.
her period is rubies
We are TERRIBLE.
I can't even IMAGINE Jayne as captain of anything.
Let alone his own ship.
Thank god that did not work out.
he's captain of his bathtub every night!
with lt. rubber ducky!
He watches the pirate video.
this is canon.
All the time.
Yes it it.
Holy shit did we both just have that reaction simultaneously?
Where are you?
they'll rape us to death, eat out flesh
I am at Simon walking away.
INARA WHAT IS THAT
I KNOW RITE.
We will never know.
i think just something to kill her
It is like the great mystery of Firefly.
like when astronauts have black pills
I read somewhere that it's like something to poison anyone who tries to rape her.
Like, it burns their peen off or something.
i like the rape poison idea tho
Oh, I did not know this.
Kaylee is SO DOPED UP RIGHT NOW.
she's so adorable
I wanna see her and Wash get high together.
Me high is probs what Kaylee would be like high.
awww mal caled her mei mei
Remember when I texted you and was like I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
hahaah which time
When I was high that first time?
oh yeah hahaha
I just found it on my phone.
HAHAHA I JUST REALIZED THAT THAT SAME SHOT IS IN RENT.
OF THE HAND.
kaylee's very dear to me, because we have sex. a lot.
In my tub.
simon is a virgin.
true canon fact.
He never even has sex with K.
simon gets so much more attractive after this episode
Hahah, this is the greatest moment ever.
HE IS, SIMON.
I'M A BAD MAN
I love how hilared they all are by this.
mind your ptsd
i forgot how funny this show was
And LOL at Patience being an old lesbian.
I just paused at the blackout right after the shot of Lawrence.
Need the rest of my salad.
Hey now, don't lol my salad.
it is the epic badass of most salads.
is this the superfood one
But it is jsut as good!
Here is what's in it;
Mixed baby greens and fresh herbs that I got from Collins' Food Emporium.
(which, did Imention is across the street from me?)
the only good thing about rent
and then carrots
and cheddar cheese
all topped with Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette.
Except that other awesome one that I make.
minus carrots, yes.
Ew, I forgot you don't like carrots.
Carrots add important texture!
And vitamin A
but they are gross and ewwy!
Well, so are mushrooms.
Okay, let's play again.
it's like i'm finally coming into my hobbitness after many years. i am freaking obsesed
One day I will like mushrooms too.
Where thehell did tehy film this?
I love this part!!
zoe loves jayne
She loves him like Willow loves Angel.
i feel like tara genuinely loves him though
'Cause she's Tara.
Jayne just went running away like he was wearing a diaper.
depends is good for long trips.
hahahaha that' not funny why am i laughing
I'm laughing too.
It's because he tries to be good!
And gets beaten for it!
patience and her lover cindy
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU.
one of those men is not a men
Okay, I get it.
aww, kaylee ￼
i like how that's an insult
LOOK AT MY PISTOL.
I love the way she bites it.
kay, at this moment, there is not a single person who can like Dobson.
i hate him he has no redeeming qualities
like good villians do
He's like, I'll just beat a preacher, and shoot a tiny little mechanic.
oh wash, everyone's buddy
He's like a counselor.
He secretly has a degree in psychology.
oh god my otp sense are tingling
I know man.
is riv wearing inara's robe?
GIMME MAH MONEH BITCH.
lol horses that never appear again
Later, Book says that he beat a lawman senseless?
When on earth does he do that?
Is it just him trying to be tough and pretend like he fought back before Lawrence knocked him out?
so much sexual tension
I know rite.
wash you are so attractive
Kaylee's adorably barefoot.
Kaylee's so badass.
i love her so much.
this ep is like secretly all about kaylee and how awesome she is
I cannot understand those in the world who don't like Kaylee.
i don't think anyone dislikes kayle?
They do exist.
I've heard people say she's annoying.
fandom or irl?
I have such a soulbond with her, I can't even...
i know sweetie ￼
his flying turns her on so much
Like I said, it's Zoe wanting to sex, all the time.
Hahah, it's true.
The young doctor.
It sounds like a Dostoevsky novel.
i love this scene
aww he's trying to impress her
Sweetie, it's gonna be okay!
I KNOW .
fuck i love this show
Okay Jayne, yeah right.
because jayne iz frenz wif the crew
hahahah, he just like intentionally beat Simon.
Oh Mal, stop trying to be tough and seduce Simon.
It's just a graze! I'll stitch it up without anesthetic.
ow my heart
I KNOW. ￼
Okay, I have to do oodles of work and sleep now.
But this convo is going on tbfo.
hahaha we watched it all, sorry
It's okay. ￼
what about violetowls
that's our new one
Okay, we'll do that.
And then we'll post the ones for every ep we watch.
this was so fun
And made me sane again.
I feel home.
Okay, I love you.
A thousand times goodnight!
I totes thought you were going to say something profound.
THAT IS PROFOUND
"he sexed me, 'nara! he sexed me real good!"
I feel proud of being responsible for its wisdom.
I am obviously sagelike.
Goodnight for reals now.
ok post this
At some point I will actually edit this to make it say who said what. For now, I am tired, and this will do.